V Sides
by THEdragon-of-rainbows
Summary: This is a rather awkward fanfic I wrote ages ago, about Gorillaz trying to record a new album and having... Difficulties...  Rated T for LOTS of vomit, set after The Fall, no pairings. May have more chapters in the future.
1. Trying for another album?

**Okay, I'm sorry, this is horrible, I know. I thought maybe some people are into this kind of thing, maybe? I mean, the plot is awful but at least there are no Mary-Sue OC's hogging it.**

**I have more chapters I might upload if no-one dies tragically while casting their gaze upon this monstrosity of text.**

**Gorillaz belong to Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett.**

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><p>"I don't wanna sing anymore..." 2D wimpered, sitting curled up on a stool, in front of the microphone in the recording studio of Plastic Beach. "We've recorded the third and fourth album, can't I just go back now?"<p>

"Not until we've earned enough money for me to get drunk non-stop for another five years!" Murdoc replied, grabbing a bunch of papers out of Cyborg Noodle's hands and giving them to 2D. "Now sing, SING!"

"But I don't feel well, I've been sick all week!" The vocalist moaned, before looking down at the papers in his hands. "Besides, all these papers say is 'go stick your tongue in a toaster'. Don't you think we should... Uh... Maybe rethink these lyrics?".

"What?" Murdoc growled, snatching the papers back and skimming the text with his eyes. He looked up and inhaled sharply, biting his lip. "NOOOOODDDDLLLEEEE!" Noodle- The real one- entered the room casually, a smirk hidden under her mask.

"What can I do for you, Murdoc?" The guitarist asked in a happy, perky tone, knowing well what she had done.

"Noodle, I asked you nicely to write up some lyrics for our fifth album, and this is what I get?" Murdoc grumbled angrily, holding the 'lyrics' out in front of Noodle. 2D moaned and folded his arms over his belly.

"WELL maaaaaaybe I'm sick of you being so demanding and trying to make us churn out music when we OBVIOUSLY need a break." Noodle said, in a sarcasticly cheerful tone. "And throwing a carboard box at my head and yelling at me to magically write up ten pages of inspiring song lyrics off the top of my head isn't what I call 'asking nicely'." With that, Noodle stormed out of the room like a drama queen but not so femininely.

"Oh for the love of..." Murdoc groaned, his voice trailing off into a quiet mumble. "Look, 2D, just... Just... Sing something. Anything. And STAND UP OFF THAT SEAT! YOU HAVE FUNCTIONAL LEGS, DAMNIT!

"Uhm... Okay... How 'bout I just sing Empire Ants again...?" 2D said softly, standing up and turning paler than usual. "But I'm warning you, Murdoc, I feel really ill..."

"Don't care, just sing, and CYBORG, MORE RUM!" The robot was serving Murdoc another glass of rum as soon as he made the request. 2D cleared his throat and and inhaled, before hesintantly beginning to sing.

"Ohh joys arise, the sun has come, again, to h_-UUURRGGHHLLKKkk_!"

"WHAT THE HELL?" Murdoc yelled, spilling his rum as he jumped back in shock. Cyborg Noodle just stood still, unresponsive.

"Ugggghhh...Unngghhh..." 2D moaned, vomit dripping from his mouth and from the microphone. His angelic voice had been interrupted by sudden regurgitation. Now there was a big mess in front of him. Noodle suddenly re-entered the room, only to be greeted by the unpleasant sight.

"Ew, what the..." She said to herself, before looking up at 2D. "Oh my gosh, are you okay?"

"Hnnngggg... Urhhh..." 2D replied, swaying and wobbling dizzily. "Yeah, just a bit... Unwell, that's all."

"Sweet Satan, there are chunks of styrofoam in it!" Murdoc yelled in disgust as he stared intensely at the gooey puddles at the vocalist's feet. "CYBORG! Clean it up! And get me some more RUM!" The robot gladfully pulled out a mop, bucket and towel and began to wipe up the mess. Within minutes, that part of the recording studio was relatively clean again. The microphone was pretty screwed and had to be replaced again, though.

"Okay let's try this again. This time, HOLD IT IN!" Murdoc yelled. 2D looked back at the bassist with a worried look, sweat dripping down his forehead. He took a deep breath and turned to the new microphone.

"I'm a scary gargoyle on a tower, that you made with plastic power..." The singer began. It was looking good so far. "Your rhinestone eyes ar l-_URK... HURllk... RGHk..._"

"Stop, stop STOP!" Murdoc yelled, running over to the singer who was beginning to gag again. Unfortunately, by the time he got over to him it was too late. There was a lovely arrangement of partly digested food- and things that weren't food- in a pile at their feet. Murdoc could only stand in horror as he looked at the 'repainting' on his beautiful boots. He turned his head slowly to look at the ill vocalist and raised his hands to strangle him.

"You little sonofamother I'm going to-"

"Murdoc, stop!" Noodle interrupted, pushing the angry bassist back. "You'll make it worse!"

"Fine." Murdoc grunted, sitting back down at his seat in the room and taking a gulp of alcohol. "But I am seriously not in the mood for this crap. Cyborg, clean up the mess again. And any mess 2D shoots out his mouth from now on." Cyborg Noodle made an awkward beeping noise and began cleaning up all the vomit fairly quickly. Murdoc dazed off a bit, and was staring hopelessly at the ceiling when suddenly something mangled and sloppy was dangled over his face.

"WHAT THE-" Murdoc yelled, flailing and quickly falling off his seat before anything could drip onto his nose. "What the hell is that!"

"Unindentified object." Cyborg said, holding the thing in her hand. "Threat captured." The bassist stared slosely at the thing for a while, trying to figure out what it was. It appeared to be a banana peel that Cyborg found in 2D's vomit and mistook for some kind of mutant sea creature.

"Throw it away. THROW IT AWAY!" Murdoc yelled Pointing a shaky finger at the sloppy monstrosity. Cyborg did as requested, throwing the regurgitated banana peel into a nearby bin and blasting it with her shotgun. "Now, 2D, just sing a decent song, and please, for the love of SWEET SATAN, DON'T SPILL YOUR GUTS EVERYWHERE!"

"My stomach hurts." The vocalist moaned, sitting back down on the chair and putting his hands over his face.

"Murdoc, I think you should let him have a break." Noodle advised calmly. "He's obviously unwell and we aren't getting anywhere."

"Let's try something from an earlier album, face-ache." Murdoc groaned, ignoring Noodle. "Feel good Inc, everyone loves that one."

"Cities breaking down on a camel's back, they just have to go 'cause they don't know whack." 2D sang, sounding as wonderful as ever. "So all y_-Hrrlk-HRghl-URGHK_"

"Oh you've got to be kidding me!" Murdoc screamed, slapping his hand over his forehead and staring up at the ceiling. Cyborg Noodle walked over to the gagging singer, preparing to clean up his vomit, only to have it launched all over her. Dripping with puke, Cyborg stood frozen still for a moment, before short-circuiting on the spot and falling over.

"You killed her, you dumb piece of crap!" Murdoc screamed in fury, jumping off his seat and throwing some old electronic Korg instrument across the recording studio. "You puked on Cyborg and killed her!"

"I.. I... I'm sorry!" 2D sobbed, wiping the bile and drool from his mouth. "I didn't mean to, it just... all came gushing out! Like... A wave!"

"I can't take this anymore!" Noodle yelled, grabbing fistfulls of her hair in rage. "This is just messed up, I'm out of here!" And Noodle dashed her way out of the room once again.

Several hours later, Noodle walked up to the door, with a plate of food in her hands. The guitarist pressed her ear up against the door and what she heard was unpleasant, making her hesitant to enter the room.

"May I come in..?" She said nervously, knocking on the door.

"Yeah whatever." An unenthusiastic voice called from inside. Noodle entered the room, and it was almost exactly how unpleasant she thought it would be. Murdoc sitting on the chair looking terribly unhappy, Cyborg Noodle lifeless and covered in puke in the corner and 2D gripping the microphone stand, hunched over, staring at the ground and gagging uncontrollably.

"I ain't happ-_HRRK_! I'm feeling glad I g-_UGHNKK_! Sunshine, in a bag I-_GLRGHHK_! I'm usele-_HLLURGH_! But not for long th-_URLGHK_! Future is coming on, is coming on, is comi-_BLRGHK_!" 2D tried to sing, but was constantly gagging. Whatever was in his stomach had already been emptied out and there was nothing left to puke up.

"2D, are you... Feeling any better?" Noodle asked, expecting a no. "I got you some lunch."

2D gave Noodle a painful look as he sat back down on the stool behind him in a hunched over position, with his arms folded over his gut. He looked like the mere thought of lunch made him want to puke up his liver. Jumping up from his seat, Murdoc ran over to the guitarist and grabbed the plate of food before throwing it out the window. Russel was woken up from his semi-peaceful nap as the plate landed on the back of his giant head.

"Are you INSANE?" He scolded, dragging his hands down his face dramatically. "The last thing we need is you refilling his puke-bag!"

"Well SOR-RY, old man!" Noodle replied with a sigh, placing her hands on her hips. "I just thought that MAYBE he had gotten hungry since I last left! Give 2D a break, or he'll mess up your entire recording studio!"

"Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh-uh. I want to squeeze as many albums out of this band as I can until I'm filthy stinkin' rich." Murdoc said, taking a sip of his rum. "Unfortunately, since no-one at this moment can come up with some decent lyrics, all we can do is reuse lyrics from our old songs and make them into new songs. Even more unfortunately, face-ache can't seem to keep his guts in!"

For the next week or so, things pretty much remained the same. Anything 2D ate ended up only slightly digested and all over the floor, furniture, equipment, walls, windows and... Somehow even the ceiling. Noodle seriously wanted to leave, and Russel was pretty lucky that he stayed outside the whole time. Thank goodness Cyborg Noodle had been repaired and was able to clean up MOST of the puke. But she wasn't quick enough to keep up with the constant upchucking, that threatened to even overtake the giant pink rotting landfill itself in terms of being disgusting.

"My throat hurts too much." 2D croaked, wiping some of the mess off his lips. "I can't sing anymore..." After finishing that sentence, the singer threw up on his Casio keyboard with great force, ruining it. Murdoc slammed his bass onto the ground in defeat as electricity crackled through 2D's spoiled keyboard.

"I can't take this anymore! Forget it!" Murdoc screamed, having finally been pushed to his absolute limit with recording 2D's vocals. "I'm leaving this dreadful island tomorrow!"

"Yeah well I'm leaving it today!" Noodle called out, standing on top of Russel's head outside the window. "See ya!" And with that Russel waved goodbye and swam off into the horizon. They were gone.

"I hope they drown." Murdoc growled, rolling his eyes and folding his arms.

"Aww don't say that, Mudz!" 2D said, curled up in a ball on the corner. "They our frie-_BLUURRGGHHLLLKKKK_!"

Suddenly, Murdoc thought of something.

"Cyborg, have the recordings of 2D's sick-singing been recorded?" He asked the robot, scratching his chin with a claw-like finger.

"Yes, master." Cyborg Noodle replied. "I have kept records of audio and visuals."

"And do we still have enough not-puked-on musical equipment to create some decent instrumentals?"

"Yes. We have enough keyboards, drum machines, guitars, etc. to make some decent tracks."

"And do our fans still love everything I- Uhhm, WE create?"

"... Possibly."

"That's good enough for me!" Murdoc screamed in delight. He happily kicked 2D back down into his underwater room of eternally fear and misery, grabbed some instruments, took 2D's recordings and got to work.

Months later, Russel and Noodle were cruising though the streets of chicago. Goodness knows what they were doing there of all places, but they seemed pretty happy. Russel was back to his (almost) normal size, and Noodle had stopped drawing uneccesary attention to herself by wearing a mask all the time and had come to accept the fact that her eye was bruised. One morning, Noodle and Russel went to the music store to look for some CDs.

"It's been ages since we've heard from 2D and Murdoc." Russel said, picking up a few old albums and examining them briefly. "I wonder what they've been up to.".

"I hope 2D recovered from his illness." Noodle said, browsing through the shelves of the shop. Suddenly, something caught her attention. Slowly she reached out a hand, carefully lifting the album off the shelf as if it were a dangerous weapon. Russel looked over Noodle's shoulder and they both stared at it.

It was an album with a picture of a dirty mop and bucket on the front of it.

Titled V-Sides.

By Gorillaz.

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><p><strong>I'm not paying for any injuries that may have occured while reading this fanfiction.<strong>


	2. Cyborg, 2D and Murdoc return

**Well so far no-one has told me they've died from reading Chapter 1 of my fanfic so here I go with Chapter 2.**

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><p><em>One month later.<em>

"Murdoc, is this some kind of horrible joke?" Russel asked sternly, lowering the volume on the CD player.

"Joke? What do you mean, 'joke'?" Murdoc replied with a devilish grin. "This is mine and 2D's latest work of musical art!"

Noodle, 2D, Russel, Murdoc and Cyborg Noodle were seated on an old, dirty sofa in Noodle's apartment room. None of them had actually bought a house since returning from Plastic Beach, as they were mostly too busy enjoying the smell of fresh air that didn't smell like landfill. However, the vomit smell seemed to linger... The five of them were staring at the dusty CD player, sitting on a little wooden table in the living room of the apartment. The newest Gorillaz album, 'V-Sides', was playing from it.

"This is terrible, Murdoc." Noodle said, shaking her head in disgust. "There is no way this is going to sell well. Once the word is out about this album, there's no way anyone else will buy it. And the fact that you, not only reused old lyrics, but took advantage of 2D's ill health, really disturbs me." Noodle and Russel looked worriedly at the singer, who unfortunately had still not recovered from his strange illness. He was sitting in a hunched-over position. He looked back at them looking like he was going to pass out or puke again.

"Oh come on, you've only listened to PART of V-Sides!" Murdoc laughed. "After the gooey rhythm at the beginning, the album starts to blend into some sick, chunky beats!" After hearing these words, 2D cupped his hands over his mouth and ran into the bathroom for the seventh time that morning. The sounds that came from the bathroom were not pretty, to say the least. Murdoc turned up the volume on the CD player in an attempt to drown it out, however, the song playing didn't sound much different. It was just 2D attempting to sing an old song while constantly being sick, with a new musical tune.

_"Up on Melancholy hill there's a pl-HURRGGHLLR! Plastic tree... Are you here w-HRGHK! With me... Just looking out on the day, of an-BLUURGGHLKK! Another dream... Where you can't g-HRLGHK! Get what you w-UURHGK! Want, but you c-GURGHLK! Can get me... So let's set out to s-HUUURLBGHLBKKLKLRGH! 'Cause you are my medicine, when you're -HRRLK- Close to me... when you're close to M-RHHRGHGHLBBLLURRGHHH!"_

Russel shook his head and put his hands over his face. He and Noodle- And probably even 2D- felt embarrassed to have V-Sides sold as an album under their band's name.

"Noodle, get me the phone." Russel sighed. "We're going to book 2D in for a doctor's appointment; this has been going on for way too long."

"No can do, people!" Murdoc said unusually cheerfully, standing up off the sofa. "We're going to be very, very busy the next couple of weeks."

"What do you mean...?" Noodle said nervously, her hand reaching out to grab the phone on the wall.

"We've got interviews, photo shots, gigs and concerts to perform!" Murdoc cheered. "We're starting out V-Sides WORLD TOUR!"

"WHAT!" Noodle and Russel yelled in unison, jumping up in horror. Cyborg Noodle remained unresponsive and in the silence that followed, 2D could be faintly heard sobbing, and gagging between sobs.

"How on Earth did you manage to plan all that in such a short amount of time without Russel and I knowing?" Noodle said quietly, her voice as shaky as her trembling hands. They had already given up and wanted a MAJOR break from the musical spotlight, and with 2D's current condition, a world tour seemed like a nightmare. And oh, it certainly would be...

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is Connor Soaprope onnnnnn... The Conner Soaprope show!" The television show host exclaimed. "Tonight is a very special night, as we will be having a VERY special interview with the VERY special band GORILLAZ as part of their V-Sides world tour!" The Audience cheered, and the cameras zoomed in on the show host's cheerful face. Meanwhile, the band waited nervously backstage.

"Okay, everyone, just act like you're enjoying this." Russel whispered to the others. "Whatever they ask, just give an answer, smile and act natural, but don't do or say anything controversial..."

"What if I get sick from nerves...?" 2D asked, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "Where do I puke? I don't want to dirty their floor, it's so red and velvety soft!"

"Just puke in the hat!" Murdoc hissed. 2D took his beloved sailor hat off his head and looked at it, biting his lip. He didn't want to dirty that, either.

"Aaaand here they are, Gorillaz!" Connor Soaprope cheered. The audience cheered again as Murdoc, 2D, Russel, Noodle and Cyborg Noodle walked onto the stage, smiling and waving. They all sat down on a circular red sofa and Connor sat down opposite them.

"Well first off, good evening Murdoc, 2D Noodle, Russel and Cyborg Noodle!" The host said. "How are you all this fine evening?"

"Yes, we're good." Noodle said, with a nod.

"Status: Alert, 89% power remaining." Cyborg beeped, twitching a little and giving Connor a blank glare.

"Bloody fantastic!" Murdoc laughed, leaning back and swinging his arm around like a madman.

"I'm... Okay..." 2D said. What he really wanted to say, was that he felt terrible and needed to see a doctor because he had been uncontrollably vomiting for several months.

"Let's talk about your new album, V-sides." Connor began, sitting upright formally and twiddling his fingers. "Where did you get the inspiration for this album's... Uhm... Theme?"

"Well, that's an easy one!" Murdoc said. "Face-Ache here came down with some mysterious illness, making it oh-so-difficult to get some decent vocals out of him, and we had no new lyrics to work with! However, being the irresistible genious I am, I just recorded whatever came out of 2D's mouth, quite literally, and added some new instrumentals to some old favourite lyrics! With a twist!"

"Oh dear, 2D, I suppose you're okay now, though?"

"No... Not really..." The singer replied with a mumble, turning pale and drooling slightly.

"Oh... Uhm..." Connor Soaprope stuttered, a bit concerned about having the ill vocalist on the set. "What are the best and worst things about performing live?".

"The best thing, in my opinion," Noodle explained, "is seeing all our ecstatic fans cheering us on as we perform, and inspiring them with our sound."

"The worst part is stage fright." 2D said. "It makes my stomach feel all funny. And I haven't even been up on stage since... Y'know, before that thing started..."

"Soooo... What plans do you have for after the tour?" Mr Soaprope asked, noting how Russel had shuffled away from 2D slightly. Cyborg Noodle, who was sitting on his other side, didn't respond.

"If we make enough money, I'll ditch these clowns and go get drunk for the next few years!" Murdoc snorted, earning odd looks from the others. "If we don't... I'll keep the band together with all my strength and record another beautiful, soulful album!"

"Well... I was thinking of opening a little taxidermy shop." Russel explained, gazing out into space. "I'd sell all kinds of strange and exciting hybrid and part-mechanical creatures... Wait, you don't need to know this..."

"I'm gonna buy some pepto bismol." 2D replied sharply, leaning forwards slightly and moaning softly.

"Now, I understand you returned from Plastic Beach at different times." Connor said. "Murdoc, you came back on a boat with Cyborg Noodle and 2D I assume?"

"A Submarine." The bass player corrected. "But yes, I left Dave, Rick and Tattoo behind. Hehe, suckers..."

"What was the trip back like? Were the waters rough or was it calm in the depths of the ocean?" The show host asked. 2D bit his lip and began to twitch a bit, not catching anyone's attention.

"If I need to puke, grab the hat..." The singer thought to himself. "If I need to puke, grab the hat... Grab the hat..."

"Well, once we got down deep it was fairly smooth riding." Murdoc answered. "But near the surface, WOW the waves were rough! The sub kept rocking about from side to side and-"

Suddenly, 2D swiftly grabbed the hat off Cyborg Noodle's head and held it under his face.

_"BLLHHHUUURRKKKK!"_ Just as expected, 2D couldn't keep it in for the entire interview. Cyborg Noodle gave 2D a cold stare as he threw up into her hat, Murdoc leaned back in disgust and Noodle and Russel held their heads in their hands in embarrassment. A lot of gasps could be heard from the audience, along with some disgusted groans and a few giggles.

"Uhm, this is Connor Soaprope, on the Connor Soaprope show. We'll be back after this break..." The host said nervously, turning to face on of the cameras that had been filming them the entire time.

Back at 2D's hotel room the next evening, the Gorillaz were getting ready for an evening dinner. Everyone knew this wouldn't turn out well, but had to go with the flow. Murdoc still hadn't gotten over that spoiled interview from the previous day.

"I can't believe you screwed up that interview for us yesterday!" Murdoc growled, slipping on some shoes. "It was going so well until YOU went and spilled your breakfast into poor Cyborg's favourite hat!"

"Well it's your fault, since you're making us do all this when you KNOW I'm awfully sick!" 2D replied, combing his spiky blue hair. "And I didn't even have breakfast that day!"

"As much as I love the chance to get dressed up and go to a beautiful restaurant like this one, I think it would be best if we just ordered something and had it delivered to us." Noodle said, putting her sparkly socks on. "If 2D can't keep down almost anything he eats, the last thing we need is public attention while having a meal."

"Sorry Noodle, looks like we're booked in already for tonight." Russel said, checking in the mirror to make sure he looked half-decent. "We have to go, everyone's expecting us."

"Well, it's a forty-five minute drive to the place and the cab is here to take us there!" Murdoc said, looking out the window. "Let's go, quick!" The five of them rushed out of the hotel and walked over to the cab, wearing somewhat formal clothing.

"I'm not sure if I can handle a long car drive..." 2D mumbled worriedly to Noodle.

"Then sit in the front seat, damnit!" Murdoc hissed, overhearing. "Just don't get your gut spillage on us!" Luckily the driver heard none of this and 2D got into the front seat as requested. Russel, Murdoc and Noodle were terribly squished up in the back seats and Cyborg was stuffed in the boot of the cab. As soon as the cab driver began driving, 2D felt an awkward wave of nausea that seemed to intensify as the vehicle suddenly moved forwards. Within ten minutes, 2D was frantically rolling down the window with one hand and covering his mouth with the other.

"Oh no, nononono!" The cab driver said to himself, leaning away from the Gorillaz vocalist.

_"HUUURGGHHHHLLLK"_ 2D threw up out the window onto the road below, then proceeded to gag a few more times before sitting back comfortably in his seat.

"Do you... Feel better now?" The unfortunate driver asked nervously.

"I'm sorry but no, I don't actually." 2D replied sadly, giving the driver a look that pleaded for forgiveness. What was worse was the fact that they still had another half an hour of driving left. And that half an hour would not be pleasant.

_"Gllrk-HRGLK-NGHNGH-BBRRLUUGHHHK!"_ The vocalist was still vomiting. It now dripped all over the side of the cab, and there was even a 'misfired' puddle on part of the inside of the door and seat of the vehicle. Luckily, none of it went on anyone. By the end of the drive, there was gooey semi-digested mess all over most of the passenger seat door. The driver was not very pleased. When the band got out of the cab, they stretched their aching legs and pulled Cyborg out of the boot. To their surprise, it was rather quiet, only a few people where there.

"I'm so sorry..." Russel whispered to the cab driver, handing him his pay, plus a little extra as an apology. As they walked through the doors of the restaurant, the lady at the counter recognized them immediately.

"Ahhh, you must be the famous 'Gorillaz', yes?" She said cheerfully. Murdoc leaned against the counter and rested his elbow on it, then stared the lady in the eyes.

"We sure are..." Murdoc replied with a big grin, attempting to flirt after having only just walked throught the doors. Suddenly, an older, less cheerful woman appeared.

"Right this way, I'll show you to your seats." She said in a dull tone. The band followed her all the way to the back of the restaurant, where there was a large circular table reserved just for them.

"I LOVE being famous!" Murdoc laughed as they sat down.

"I know you do, but after this world tour, can we PLEASE go back to living semi-normal lives?" Noodle said quietly to him. Before Murdoc could reply, the waitress was at their table ready to take their orders. After all, it was very quiet that day. After a few minutes of mumbling and decision-making between everyone, Murdoc, Russel and Noodle all chose their orders. Russel and Murdoc ordered an interesting seafood dinner and Noodle ordered the soup of the day, which deep down she hoped would be noodle soup. Cyborg, of course, ordered nothing because she is just a robot. This left everyone staring at 2D, who was staring worriedly at the menu.

"I... Think I'll just have a glass of water, please..." 2D said nervously.

"Are you sure...? Is that all, sir?" The waitress asked, raising an eyebrow. The others looked at him worriedly,

"Okay then, maybe I'll just have something light... Uh..." 2D even knew himself that anything he ate would probably just get puked up. "Just a salad... A salad will do... With a glass of water, please." Then the waitress walked off with the band's orders written down. While they waited, Murdoc, Noodle and Russel talked to eachother about the V-Sides world tour and how it was a 'bad idea'. Cyborg Noodle stared at 2D, still upset about her hat. 2D didn't notice, as he scanned the restaurant with his black eyes, looking for the bathroom. When he found the bathroom, he used whatever brainpower he had to establish a quick path from the table to that bathroom, in case of a likely emergency.

Not long later, the meals were served to them. Before even looking at his meal, Murdoc grabbed the bottle of alcohol and began to drink it, as Murdoc usually does. Noodle and Russel began eating their dinner, then looked worriedly at 2D, who poked his salad nervously with his fork. The singer then looked up at Cyborg Noodle, who was still giving him a cold, sad stare.

"Cyborg, I'm sorry about your hat, Okay?" 2D sighed, looking back at the robot apologetically. "If I puked in my own hat I'd end up doing something stupid like putting it back on my head, I like that hat too much." He then finally picked up a spoonful of fancy salad and put it in his mouth. Murdoc was still gulping alcohol between bites of his own food and Noodle and Russel continued eating. Still, they were pretty much waiting for the somewhat inevitable.

"Mmmm, this salad is delicious." 2D said to himself, eating a few more mouthfuls of the salad. After a few rather peaceful minutes of dinner-eating, he swallowed a mouthful of salad and went to take another forkful of it, then paused. He put down the fork and looked up at the others. "Sorry, gotta go to the bathroom, be right back." He said quickly before running off with his hands over his mouth. There weren't many other people at the restaurant but they all turned to look at him as he rushed into the bathroom.

"Bathroom?" Murdoc yelled, waving his arm around, somewhat drunk. "Whaddaya mean, BATHROOM?"

"Poor guy." Russel said, shaking his head. "This must be humiliating for him. And the rest of us, too."

"I don't think I'm hungry anymore." Noodle said, pushing her bowl of leftovers into the middle of the table at the thought of what 2D was going through.

"Noodle, I'm going to go check on him." Russel said, getting out of his seat slowly. "I need to make sure he's okay." He then cautiously walked into the bathroom 2D had rushed into, while Murdoc yelled something obscene at him.

"2D, are you okay?" Russel called out, looking around the rather clean toilet room.

"No worse than usual..." A shaky voice called back from one of the cubicles. 2D opened the cubicle door and walked out, pale and wobbling about.

"I think we should go now." Russel said, pointing to the door. "This is getting out of hand."

"WAIT I'M NOT DONE _HRRGHGHHLLL_" 2D yelled before running back into the cubicle. Unfortunately he missed the toilet bowl and vomited all over the toilet seat and floor. "Okay, now I think I'm done..."

So after that, the band paid their bills and got out of there pretty quickly, leaving the mess in the bathroom for some unfortunate janitor to later find. Unfortunately, when they got to the cab which would take them home, the driver was not there! However, there was a note, which Noodle picked up and read.

"Dear Gorillaz," She read out loud. "I'm fleeing this town forever! I'm never driving you anywhere again after that. Sincerely, the cab driver who's not giving his name to you."

After an awkward silence, Murdoc shoved his way into the driver's seat. He was rather noticably drunk at the time.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Murdoc growled. "Get into the freakin' cab! We're going home!" Reluctantly, 2D got into the front passenger seat and Noodle sat with Russel in the back seat. Cyborg Noodle was shoved in the boot like before.

"Murdoc, I should drive." Russel said cautiously. "You're way to dr-" Suddenly, Murdoc slammed his foot on the cab's accelerator. The vehicle sped forward, forcing everyone back onto their seats and forcing a wave of puke out of 2D's mouth.

"MURDOC, SLOW DOWN!" Noodle screamed, clinging onto her seatbelt for dear sweet beautiful life and mercy as the drunk bass player swerved the cab back and forth violently. Almost every swerve made 2D gag. As Murdoc sped through various traffic lights and intersections, he narrowly missed several major vehicle accidents.

"I'm king of the streets, people!" Murdoc yelled, sticking his head out the window and feeling the city breeze in his hair. He stuck his head back in the cab just before driving dangerously close to a pole which would've decapitated him. After twenty dreadful minutes- The driving time had been cut down thanks to the bass player's mad driving- they finally arrived back at the hotel, shaken, but otherwise safe. 2D, however, was covered in his own vomit. It was one of the most unpleasant restaurant visits the band had ever had, in fact, probably THE most unpleasant. All the singer wanted to do was get back to his room and change into some clean clothes. But not before puking again!

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><p><strong>Yeah, I'm getting the feeling this is out of character and confusing, but I tried to tidy it up a bit from the original version which I wrote like, ages ago. :P<strong>


	3. The big spill at the big show

**Last chapter, already? Wow! Well I'll just remind you again that I wrote this AGES ago, Chapters 2 and 3 being halves of the same story, a sequel to Chapter 1. I did spend a lot of time editing it though, making it just that little bit better. Also, I'd like to thank the people who sent me those awesome reviews! Thank you!**

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><p>"Part of me can't WAIT to get back on stage in front of all those fans and play the drums again!" Russel said, tapping his foot on the ground behind the drum kit, waiting. "But another part of me is dreading it." Noodle, 2D, Russel and Cyborg Noodle where in a lonely, empty, and somewhat untidy room they had hired to use for rehearsals.<p>

"Murdoc must be out of his mind to think it's a good idea for an ill singer to perform in front of so many people." Noodle responded, plucking a few notes on her guitar with Cyborg Noodle. "Especially if 'ill' means 'cannot sing for more than twelve seconds without throwing up'."

"I'm... S..Sorry..." 2D mumbled, gripping the microphone stand with one shaky, bony hand and rubbing his tired face with the other.

"It's not your fault, we don't mean to sound like we're-" Noodle replied, before Murdoc suddenly burst into the rehearsal room with a rolled up sheet under his arm.

"Hey you lot! Look what I got!" The bass player exclaimed.

"A disease that will finally leave you unable to move or talk?" Russel asked unenthusiastically.

"The new Gorillaz V-Sides tour poster!" Murdoc continued, ignoring Russel. The other band members gathered around and watched in interest as Murdoc unravelled the poster in front of them. Then their looks of interest turned to awkward, slightly displeased looks. "The printed copies just got sent out today!"

On the poster was a picture of 2D curled in a ball with his hands over his mouth, next to Cyborg who appeared to be cleaning up puddles of spew, and Murdoc standing in front of them both with a huge grin on his face. Underneath him was big green text reading 'Gorillaz V-Sides World Tour'. Smaller text underneath read the dates and locations of live performances, as well as a warning- 'Avoid the front row'.

"Murdoc... Russel and I aren't even on this poster..." Noodle said, in a flat, expressionless tone.

"Well I took the photos back on Plastic Beach just after you left!" Murdoc said. "It's your fault for being quitters and leaving so soon!" Murdoc rolled up the poster again and threw it into a corner.

"Re-quest-ing per-mission to be-gin re-hear-sal for live per-for-mance?" Cyborg Noodle beeped unexpectedly in a croaky tone, twitching a little awkwardly. She seemed a bit... Off.

"Oh, right of course." Murdoc muttered, picking up his beloved bass. "Right, begin in three, two-"

"Wait!" Russel interrupted. "What songs are we even playing!"

"Simple." Murdoc replied. "The entire V-Sides album, start to finish. Maybe we'll shuffle the songs a bit and start with track three when we play live."

"That's not a very good setlist for our live performances." Noodle said, scratching her head in slight confusion.

"Shut up and let's practice track one!" With that, the band began to rehearse. The first song was simply the lyrics to Re-Hash, with instrumentals that sounded strangely similar to Phoner to Arizona played in reverse. For once, Noodle, Russel and 2D were NOT looking forward to the thrill of performing in front of crowds of fans. They were dreading it, for they knew they would only be humiliated.

"Brilliant!" Murdoc cheered at the end of track one's rehearsal. "There's no way we can put on a bad performance!"

"My... Throat... Hurts..." 2D groaned with a raspy voice.

"Whatever. You know, for once I am actually glad I'm going to be at the very back of the stage." Russel said, scratching his bald head with the drumstick in his left hand.

"Cyborg! Clean up the mess so we can practice the next one!" Murdoc called. He only got a strange mechanical humming sound as a reply. "Eh? Cyborg? What's going on?"

"Be-Eee-Dzzt..." The robot replied weakly, lying on the floor awkwardly with her head twisted strangely.

"Clean up the vomit!" Murdoc called again, ignoring Cyborg Noodle's condition. Whenever Murdoc called a command, however, Cyborg only replied by twitching and making an odd mechanical humming noise.

"I think she's broken." The real Noodle said, putting down her guitar and walking over to Cyborg. Noodle examined her for a little while, then gently opened the robot's mouth. "Aha! Here's your problem!" She then pulled what appeared to be a grey t-shirt out of Cyborg's throat.

"My shirt!" Murdoc gasped. "I've been looking for that all day, how the bloody hell did it get lodged in Cyber-Doodle's throat!"

"Well perhaps she mistook it for something else and- OH GROSS IT'S WET AND SMELLS BAD!" Noodle said before dropping the shirt in horror. On further inspection, Murdoc's shirt had vomit on it. Noodle, Murdoc and Russel turned to the one person most likely to have vomited on the shirt.

"Okay okay okay, it was me." 2D confessed with a little cough. "I kinda chucked up on Murdoc's shirt, right, and I knew he'd freak out if he found out so I quickly hid it by shoving it down Cyborg Noodle's throat."

"You stinkin' idiot!" Murdoc growled, fuming with rage. "Cyborg's never gone and shoved anything down YOUR throat!"

"Yeah she has!" 2D said defencefully, almost making himself gag. "Just last week she was trying to force-feed me some wierd kind of Pop-Tart!"

"Hey, here's a fun idea." Russel said angrily. "How about you just shut up so we can get this rehearsal over and done with." Cyborg Noodle stood up and beeped, somewhat glad to have her throat cleared.

"Okay, lemme just clear my own throat, first." 2D said, waving his hand weakly and taking a gulp of water from a glass. "Ahem.. Ahe_UUURRRRLLGGHHK_!"

_(An unidentified amount of time later...)_

Finally, the day had come! Or more like, unfortunately, the day had come. It was time for the Gorillaz' first live performance for the V-Sides world tour! The band was just a few minutes away from getting on stage, in New York. Backstage, everyone was ready, but only Murdoc was truly confident. Cyborg Noodle handed a plate of weird things which looked like Pop-Tarts to 2D.

"What the heck is this for?" The singer asked, backing away in fear of the things being shoved down his throat.

"Oh yeah, I wanted you to eat those right before we go on stage." Murdoc said, still focused on filing his nails perfectly into long, sharp, demonic claws. "I'm worried that our performance might get low ratings if the whole thing is just, y-know, dry gagging."

"Now you WANT me to spew all over the stage!" 2D yelled, flailing his arms around and making himself feel even more nauseous in the process. "You crazy old stinky man, your head is full of crap!"

"Yeah well at least I'm not... A spew-spitting little brainless twig like you!" Murdoc replied, standing up off his seat and glaring at the singer, who began nervously nibbling the weird Pop-Tart-things.

"I don't know if I'll be able to live with myself after we're through with this." Russel moaned, taking Murdoc's attention off slaughtering 2D. "Will I have nightmares about this tour every night? Will I be haunted by this for the rest of-"

"Guys! The show's about to start!" Noodle said, sounding both excited and worried at the same time. "We need to get up on stage!" Wasting no further time, 2D, Noodle, Russel, Murdoc and Cyborg Noodle walked on stage and prepared themselves with their instruments. The fangirls squealed with excitement at the sight of 2D, who swayed dizzily in front of the microphone stands. A couple of them then looked at eachother in confusion when they realised how sick and poorly the singer appeared. The smart ones backed away from the front row. 2D gulped nervously, knowing that singing was the one thing that set off his vomiting the very most. He would just have to try his hardest to keep down what he could, and avoid being too nervous, which would only push his nausea further. The cheering crowd began to slow down, their excited squeals turning to mumbles, then the whole crowd turned silent. 2D shakily stepped forward and wrapped his thin arms around the microphone stand. Taking a gulp, 2D turned to face Russel, and nodded.

Russel started off the beginning of the music to 'Clint Eastwood' with his usual hardcore and generally impressive drumming. This song, like all the other V-Sides songs, was just the music of one song (Or perhaps something different) with the lyrics of another... With vomiting. In this case, the instrumentals of Clint Eastwood with the lyrics of 19-2000, affectionately named Nineteen-Spewthousand.

"The world is spinnin' too fast.. _Hllrk..._" 2D began to sing. "I'm buyin' lead shoes, to keep mys-_HHUURRRKKKK!_" 2D had considerately turned away from the audience to vomit all over the stage. The vomit had pink icing and sprinkles in it because of the Pop-Tarts he ate. It sorta looked like a roadkill Nyancat.

"EWWWW!" An insane fangirl cried. The whole front row screamed and backed away, and 2D had no choice but to keep singing.

"Too keep myself te-_HRK_-Ther-_RRLLG_-Tether-_GLURRK_-Tethered, to the daaayysss I've tried to lose... Ughhhnnngg..." 2D continued, clutching his stomach in pain.

"HE'S DYING!" Another fangirl cried, tears literally pouring from her face at the sight of the incredibly ill singer. A couple of medics rushed onto the stage in an attempt to stop the show and give 2D his much needed medical attention, but were forced away when Murdoc ordered Cyborg Noodle to beat them up.

"M_rrghll_ Mam_urrhgh_ said t_rrhh_ slow_ggh_ d_urrghn_" 2D tried to sing, with creamy Pop-Tart remains and bile pouring steadily from his mouth. "You must make your own shoes, stop dancing to the music of Goril_LLGHUURGHHGBBLRRUUGH_ ...In a happy mood... Keep a mild groove on..." A few people in the crowd ran out of the building, fleeing for the sake of their sanity. By the end of the song, Murdoc found himself giggling awkwardly at the hopeless singer, and himself. He walked up to the front of the stage- Making sure to not step in puke puddles- And pushed 2D away from the microphone.

"Hello ladies, gentlemen, boys, girls or whatever the hell else you are!" Murdoc called out into the microphone, while trying not to touch it because it had a bit of vomit chunks on it. "You lot are a VERY lucky lot! You are all the witnesses of Gorillaz' first live performance of their V-SIDES WORLD TOUR!" With that, the crowd cheered wildly. Cyborg Noodle quickly handed 2D a plate of Twinkies and began to clean up most of the vomit around the front of the stage. 2D, who had basically given up at trying to control himself at that point, shrugged and wolfed down the Twinkies like a little hungry fat kid.

"Well, I have mostly you fans to thank for Gorillaz' fame at this point, so once again, uhh, thanks...?" Murdoc said, trailing off a bit. "Anyways, save all questions until the end of the show!" With that, Murdoc stepped back and let 2D stand behind the microphone again to continue singing.

The next track, beautifully named as Empire Gag, was the instrumentals of Starshine played in reverse (seriously) with 2D's vocals of Empire Ants. Noodle was going to sing Yukimi's part of the song because the band they once collaborated with, Little Dragon, had filed several restraining orders against Gorillaz and another performance with them would be a possible threat to everyone within a 432798 metre radius.

2D gripped the microphone stand so hard his bony knuckles turned white, and when he was semi-ready he began to sing.

"Oh joys arise the sun has come again tooooo hoooolllddd you." The vocalist sang. His voice was raspy and his throat hurt like crazy, but he felt a sudden urge of joy at the thought of being able to sing uninterrupted for more than twelve seconds. "Sailing out the _doldrUUGHHBBRRGHNNGLLUUGHKK!_" Unfortunately, the sudden excitement made 2D regurgitate so forcefully that half-digested Twinkie chunks came flying out of his nostrils. A stream of Twinkies, bile and digestive acid began to drip off the stage and onto an empty space in the crowd where a crazy fangirl would have been, had she not been smart enough to get the hell away from the front row earlier in the performance. The front row was a death trap.

"...Little memories, marching onnnn, your little feet, working the machiinnnee..." Noodle sang, at her part of the song. The crowd went wild, because everyone loves those lyrics, everyone loves Noodle, and everyone loves a singer who isn't in pain and puking everywhere. That wasn't to say that the music wasn't a bit out of place, though. I mean, Starshine in reverse? Seriously? A small but noticeable number of unsatisfied, confused, or perhaps disgusted fans had already left the concert. By the end of Empire Gag, the front row was empty.

"Murdoc, I knew this would happen, this live performance was a REALLY bad idea!" Russel muttered, loud enough for the bassist to hear but not loud enough for the audience to hear.

"Look, the sooner you shut up, the sooner we start the next song, the sooner we get off the stage, okay?" Murdoc hissed quickly at Russel in reply, before turning to cacke in a somewhat silly matter at 2D. With that, the band played their next song, Re-Gurgitate. That song was the lyrics to Re-Hash with instrumentals sounding suspiciously like Phoner to Arizona played in reverse. The crowd reacted quite well when the music played, temporarily ignoring the messy state of the performance and cheering them on. 2D was playing his keyboard, which most of the song consisted of.

"It's the sweet sensation, over the dub," 2D and Noodle sang in unison, 2D's vocals fading to a mumble. "A one off situation, we don't wanna stop." Noodle looked at 2D, who was biting his lip and sweating.

"It's the drugstore soulboy, over the _dGRRUUGUHHLLB BRRGGHNNGG!_" 2D projectile-vomited all over his keyboard. Noodle continued to sing, when suddenly, an awful high-pitched glitchy static noise emitted from 2D's keyboard! The vomit had sunk into the keys and ruined the electronic instrument. Noodle sighed and held her hand over he face in hopeless shame, as most of the audience held their ears and moaned from their earaches. The noise only made 2D worse, causing him to projectile vomit so hard that a couple of teenagers in the audience had to dive out of the way to avoid getting covered in it. Murdoc was giggling so much that he was missing notes on his bass. His laugh wasn't much of a humorous one, but more of twisted cackle. Cyborg rushed into action, like the hero she is, and began to beat the crap out of 2D's malfunctioning keyboard while a small group of soon-to-be-ex-Gorillaz fans left the concert.

The rest of the concert was pretty much the same, gradually getting worse and worse, and more people left after each song was performed. Murdoc's laughing grew more insane, as it finally began to sink into his mind just how quickly his precious band was downward-spiralling, or more likely freefalling. Russel and Noodle pretty much gave up and Cyborg Noodle could only clean up small portions of the mess at a time. By the end of the concert, the entire crowd had turned empty, leaving only a huge silent space in front of the stage. Everyone had left, except for one important person.

It was Damon Albarn, standing close to the stage, staring up at the rather insane bassist with a confused expression. Murdoc was wandering back and forth across the stage, chuckling madly and plucking random notes on his beloved bass. Noodle was sitting at the back of the stage texting someone on her mobile phone and Russel had fallen asleep. Cyborg Noodle had malfunctioned and was standing on the spot, repeatedly making a sweeping action with her arms, as if she was still trying to mop up vomit. 2D was lying on the floor, moaning, and occasionally twitching to regurgitate again. Needless to say, the stage was a mess. A really big mess.

"Ahehehe, hawhaw, Damon... Damon old buddy, I hahaha.." Murdoc laughed, getting down onto his knees and crawling over to Damon. "I can't believe this... Hehe... But I.. I Hahaha... I NEED YOUR LIVE BAND TO PERFORM THE REST OF THIS TOUR HAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Murdoc rolled onto his back and began rolling back and forth with insanity, almost rolling onto 2D's vomit while he was at it.

"Be caref_lrghlblruugh...Hrk.._" 2D mumbled, a load of goop which looked kinda like oatmeal pouring from his mouth. Damon Albarn glanced at 2D then stared at Murdoc for a moment.

"You're plotting to get the live band and I killed, aren't you...?" Damon said with a frown.

"What, ahaha, no way, I ahaha, you see, me and MY band, we, ehehehe..." Murdoc chuckled.

"I see exactly what you're doing, Murdoc!" Damon snapped. "I'm telling Jamie on you!"

"WHAT! Ahaha, no no, don't call, hehe, Jamie Hewlett, he'll ehehe..." Murdoc replied, trailing off into a mumble as Damon called up Jamie Hewlett on his phone.

"JAAAAMMMIIIEEEEEE your cartoons are trying to kill me again! Okay, you will? Finally! Okay, that's wonderful, thanks, bye!" Damon said on the phone, before hanging up and leaving the area gracefully without another word.

"Uhhhh what happened?" Russel yawned, waking up. 2D was trying to clean the vomit off himself, Murdoc was on his knees laughing and sobbing simultaneously, Cyborg had dismantled herself and Noodle just sat there like she couldn't give a damn about the whole thing.

"The tour, haha, ahahawwwwuhuhuh... Is... Muhurrr... Cancelled.. Ehehe... Go home all, of you..." Murdoc laughed/cried, wiping the snot from his nose.

"YES!" 2D, Noodle and Russel yelled at the same time. Then a mysterious gas began to pour onto the stage.

"Oh hey look, knockout gas." Noodle said, unamused.

"This brings back awful memories." 2D sighed gazing into space and recalling that incident back in Beirut. "Knockout gas tends to make me a bit queasy, too..." Before 2D even had the chance to vomit again, the four band members fell over, succumbing to the magical effects of the knockout gas.

_(Another unidentified amount of time later!)_

"Uhhh, erghhh, damnit, that was an awful night... Huh?" Russel mumbled, opening his ghostly white eyes and squinting at the bright sun. "OW there's plastic in butt!" Slowly but surely, Noodle, 2D and Murdoc woke up, on the shore of Plastic Beach, the blue-haired vocalist regurgitating seawater and foam all over himself as he sat up.

"Can I PLEASE see a doctor now?" 2D groaned, spitting gooey sea-foam all over Cyborg Noodle's dismembered 'corpse'. "Wait, what the heck are we doing back on Plastic Beach?"

"I just got a text message from Jamie Hewlett!" Noodle gasped, holding her mobile phone. The others stood around her, reading the text all at once. After a brief moment of silence, they all slowly looked up at the sky.

"Oh hey look, a nuke...?"

Suddenly, plastic, fire, and radiation. EVERYWHERE.

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><p><strong>Well that ended with a bang, didn't it? Hehe!<strong>

**Anyways once again, Gorillaz belong to Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlet etc etc. Okay now you can go.**


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